| and as the curtain falls |
[01 Jan 2007|11:46pm] |
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mood |
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 goodbye |
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i'm bidding farewell to this journal of mine for several reasons i'd rather keep to myself. Maybe the simplest and most complete reason would be that i want to start from scratch this new year. My history with this journal has been six degrees short of a nightmare and i'm trying to psych myself that all hell will be gone once i end my stint here in LJ. I know it sounds ridiculous but for me, it's worth giving a try. Anything that would give me some sparkle of change that i'm dying to have in my damned life. I just want things to be better this new year. I want to forget the nightmare that is 2006 and hope 2007 isn't anywhere near that. I know it's all going to be up to me but it's not bad to hope either.
Haay, it's hard to say goodbye to this journal because it packs a lot of memories but that's the way things go. Thanks to all those who read and stayed with me through this journal. Don't worry, i'm making one up sometime soon though it may not come up till after the semester since the early months of the year usually means a blogging dryspell for me.
That's it folks. LJ's Calle-nueve is signing out. Peace and love.
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| logic |
[29 Dec 2006|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 irritated |
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you cannot fix something you keep on breaking. got it?
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| devil lesson # 1 |
[19 Dec 2006|01:00am] |
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mood |
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 life lessons |
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If the devil promises you something, don't believe it. It's just a lie to temporarily cool down the situation and after that, it'll all come back to tomfoolery once again.
Devils are selfish creatures and they don't tell the truth. Never ever trust them.
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| que horror |
[18 Dec 2006|12:06am] |
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mood |
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 ugh |
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I just hate it when people tell you that they'll do something yet they don't put even an ounce of effort to do it. It's so frustrating especially when they ask you to do the same thing and you actually put effort into it. It's just so effing unfair that some just always try to get away with it while i can't. It's so much sickening and draining. I just don't want to deal with it again. and yeah, don't even have the guts to try to stop me from doing anything to ruin you cause frankly i don't care anymore.
In other news, portuguese super test tomorrow. Hope i do well!
*edit* abangan ang mga kapana-panabik na intriga at rebelasyon na ilalabas simula bukas hanggang sa pasko. stay tuned!
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| low level of decision making |
[17 Dec 2006|01:33am] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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i am so excited this week not only because classes are gonna end na on wednesday but there'll be lots of happy things happening this week. Well, Marlo's going to arrive na this tuesday so yay! Matagal na namin siyang di nakasama and we're like so excited to be with him again. Go firmevitch! Haha.
Portuguese na lang and polsci actually. argh polsci, so many readings pa naman. haha. bahala na. tinatamad na rin ako eh. nyahaha.
Well, feel ko i've become younger in the sense that i make decisions based on how i feel regarding something rather than on some deeper level. haha. We learned in psychology that basing decisions upon rewards or punishments is like the most basic way of making decisions. Well, in my case, it's not purely based on rewards and punishments naman but it plays a significant part with my decisions. Tama naman talaga yung saying na follow your heart eh. it's really harder to accomplsh something when you don't really like want to accomplish it or you'd finish something better if you do it at a time when you really want to do it rather than do it at a time when you don't want to do it. Naranasan ko na iyon eh and i know better things come out of me if i do it when i want it even though it will mean cram to the max ako. haha.
Right now, i see myself leaning towards going with my heart most of the time. It's better off that way...most of the time. Of course, you should know when to stop naman right? haha.
crocodile tears ain't so bad...and i thought you're mediocre at acting...hmm...
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| comment to find out |
[14 Dec 2006|12:22am] |
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RAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGERAGE
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| rollercoaster |
[12 Dec 2006|10:21pm] |
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mood |
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 vomiting |
] |
Masaya pa lang umuwi ng 12nn. haha. i even got home earlier than my brother who was supposed to be home by 12 rin but no, ako pa rin ang nauna. He even asked me if i really went to school. Of course, diligent student eh. kahit PE lang naman ang subject ngayon. Haha.
Rollercoaster, rollercoaster, when will you ever stop? So that i could go down and finally enjoy the other rides. I'm so sick of riding you already. All the loops and twists and slides aren't fun anymore. rollercoaster, rollercoaster, please stop sometime soon so i could finally finally finally go home.
useless talaga. useless. period.
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| disclaimer: RRRRRAGE (vulgar language) |
[09 Dec 2006|02:19pm] |
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mood |
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SODIHGOHG |
] |
you're just so good at ruining my day. I am fuckin' tired of your petty excuses and alibis. Ugh. You're just so effin' selfish. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. You just always give me unneeded stress and anger. pai rwoihg ohgo[iehnoiereijgkgpekgerk,rgmnjeh.
FUCK.
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| uncertainties |
[08 Dec 2006|10:25pm] |
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mood |
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 uncertain |
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Accounting LT tomorrow and i don't know if i could stay afloat. I mean i studied alright but i don't know if it will be sufficient for me to get a decent grade. I just hope i'll have a clear and challege-ready mind tomorrow morning.
Right now, i just want to get out of this crazy, convoluted and complicated life that i have. How can i solve uncertainties if when i face the ones i know now, more appear. Ugh, life. You're soooooo good.
Delikado pala iyong ganoon. Lalo lang gumugulo ang lahat.
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| Forgot to post this last night |
[06 Dec 2006|08:51am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
] |
I just had a conversation with one of my best chums and it's relieving to know the insights revealed in that conversation. Love those intelligent conversations where you'd actually share your insights and ideas about life in general and not talking bout the latest juicy tidbits about a person which one could use to destroy them. It's just not worth talking about actually. Why waste time caring about ruining other people's lives when you can improve your own na lang. I know i'm sounding such a hypocrite here cause i may have done some deeds in the past which are of this kind but i regret doing those now. I'd just like to apologize to all the people who might be the topic of such useless conversation once it arises. Trust me, they just don't come up anytime. Usually i need some anger, stress and frustration to get it going. So if you want me to engage in such trash, then anger me and you might just get what you want. And no, that's not supposed to be a threat. It's just a fact. haha.
Insight:
The people you often take for granted are the ones who'll ironically remain with you once the world turns it back on you. I know it may be an evil thing but i've also realized that maybe the reason why we sometimes take them for granted is that we know that they'll always be there for us. In turn, we concentrate on elusive things which may not even last a fraction of the infinite time we'd share with people who really care for us.
In other news, i just want to get this week over and done. Accounting Long test this saturday and i haven't fully grasped the concepts. Hope i'd stay afloat. haha.
auf
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| school blues |
[04 Dec 2006|10:45pm] |
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mood |
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busy |
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I'm scared but more ecstatic about our Christmas Caroling. The catch, we're going to do it in portuguese. haha. The class really effin rocks. Bahala na iyong mga detractors diyan na hindi nagagandahan sa language. I don't care. It's sophisticated and shshshshsh-ish. haha. Viva Portugal!
Newsflash: I need better study habits. What's up with me lately naman?! I'm always procrastrinating and lazing around. Ugh. That's why i always get stressed with schoolwork cause i'm always in cram mode. Haay. Santa baby, i hope that i'd develop my old study habits so that i'll have an easier time na ok? Dapat nga ngayon nag-aaral ako ng accounting eh. Haha. Ugh i hate my crammy self.
That's all folks. Pray for me na lang cause accounting long test is coming up and i'm not really prepared for it yet. Hope that i'd utilize my time wisely from now on! Time management is definitely needed.
And yeah, you're effort merits a grade just slightly above...ZERO. sucker.
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| revive the journal |
[02 Dec 2006|08:12pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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Well, i haven't really been updating this journal quite as regularly as i would've wanted it to be. Aside from fits of anger driven entries, i haven't really put anything more sensible here that people could read and enjoy. Well, tonight's...not the night actually. haha. i'm just going to put up some randomnities that hopefully would bring out some sense to this stagnating journal.
Well, first thing that pops in my head is my new found love for America's Next Top Model. Haha. I'm watching the latest season on youtube and i'm loving it. I've actually taken note of it while browsing through Sucks and i'm getting the same reaction as with the posters there. I'm not fond of Melrose and love love love Caridee although the girl i rooted for the most was AJ. Ugh, why did the judges cut her?!? The twins, i've got mixed feelings about them cause they're good but they're not so appealing for me. Haha. But i really hope that my bet takes it all! Go Caridee!
There was this weird thing that occurred two days ago while i was walking home. Bikes crashing into each other. Haha. Weird talaga. Parang natigilan lahat noong nagbanggaan sila. Haha. Only in the Philippines.
I also got hooked on old Alanis Morissette songs lately. Haha. Wala lang din. I asked Andrew kasi what songs to download and he mentioned downloading Alanis'. So there, so looving them right now. I wish i would've rocked on to her tunes earlier though. Pero ok lang cause i know that past events in my life helped me appreciate the messages of her sometimes angsty songs. Example-rich kasi eh diba Andrew?
OMG I'm heading the kris kringle project of my barkada. and it's not just your ordinary kris kringle. it's the...KrisTAN kringle. haha. it's actually just your ordinary kris kringle with my name as the twist. haha. Cool noh. and i'm actually also in the stage of producing our very own Next Top Model. haha. it's because we love taking pictures so much. Just ask Brian, Ardi or Samboy. Di ako, di naman ako mahilig magpalitrato eh. hihihi. But there, para naman may fun and excitement ang pagpapapicture!
And oh my God. Brian, Marianne and I want to advertise the newest sport craze to hit the world. The Puchze! (wrong spelling toh, Brian, please correct) Grabe it's going to be like the most successful and enjoyable exercise/sport you can engage in! It's like the total package so contact any of the three of us so that we're going to inform you of this amazing new sport. Haha.
Samboy, Twona diet tayo? hihihi.
auf
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| take it to the next level |
[26 Nov 2006|02:08am] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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ahhh...gaguhan pala gusto mo ano? eh di maggaguhan tayo.
I'm no pushover anymore, asshole. just continue with this and you might just find yourself in a whole new messy situation.
I'm not going to stop till i satisfy myself.
bitch mode on.
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| cheers to a short-lived love |
[24 Nov 2006|09:23pm] |
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mood |
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 sad |
] |
here's to the short-lived stint of my camera-whoring days. goodbye my dear camera. till we meet again.
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| ladies and gentlemen |
[19 Nov 2006|11:07pm] |
abangan...
the entry that would change it all...
november 21, 2006.
ready na but...
edited 11/21
i'm changing the rules. since this is too big and grave for public pleasure, i'm just gonna give it to people who'd ask for it meaning they'd comment here. I'll be accepting comments til friday and after that, sorry nalang. hehe.
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| innately good? |
[15 Nov 2006|01:42am] |
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mood |
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 awake |
] |
Sometimes, i just don't believe anymore in the good nature of people. I mean yeah i learned in high school religion class how we are created in the image and likeness of God therefore we are innately good and all. But come to think of the actual situation rampant right now, it seems the other way around. Most of us seem to be always gravitated towards doing something which is not the morally correct one. All those temptations and devious deeds. There's even a saying that goes..."Bakit masarap ang bawal?" So isn't that somewhat a reflection of the current societal values and beliefs that envelop us today?
I guess society has painted things today rather differently from what my religion teaches. It seems that society has influenced us much today about being more prone to following our instincts and urges. And with that influence came our current lifestyle today. The good has become plain and boring while the bad has become exciting and in. Something very much different from that of past generations. Changes have influenced us to become more controlled by our desires rather than what should have been done.
I'm not generalizing in any way and i still believe in the goodness of people. It's just that sometimes, things go so bullsh*tty and evil that you just can't believe that something good lies in that person.
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| kebs na |
[13 Nov 2006|10:53pm] |
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mood |
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optimistic |
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Well, it's been a long time once again since i last updated and many things have happened since so i just gotta post about those here to keep you guys up with what's happening with me. i know i told you that i'll make this more contemplative but i really feel that i have the need to update lang so bear with me. Haha. Actually just a few couple of things before the semester kicks into higher gear.
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I'm sorry for not posting the elssons i've learned during my eighteenth year last week but i promise that i'll post one sometime soon. It's still something worth blogging about and i believe could be helpful if i get my message well across. Stay tuned for that folks :p
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Last friday was like sooooooo great! Everybody seemed to enjoy the "party" that i had. The word is in quotation marks cause it wasn't really meant to be one just a gathering of friends over dinner and some drinks. It also just confirmed how i did not need all those party stuff to make mine work cause i only need my friends to have some good fun going. And i beg to some people out their not to upload those videos they took of me drunk and singing in a rock-like manner. haha. One time lang naman iyon actually at di na mauulit. The being drunk i mean. The party? Well, we just have to ask the baranggay for that.
THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS FOR COMING LAST FRIDAY! I HAD TONS OF FUN TOO!
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On another note, the second semester started today and the thing i love the most is the light feeling that i had kanina. Grabe, it was a total contrast from the draggy and somewhat unbearable atmosphere that i had one semester ago. I'm really looking forward to this semester cause it seems that i'll be able to focus more and have the drive to do better. In fact, i wrote that i am feeling optimistic this time around and i hope it sticks with me throughout the semester. Classes look OK especially Portuguese cause i really want to learn the language. Haha. Sorry Jap, nakalimutan na kita. Haha. So there, i hope for a better and brighter sem this time around.
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In relation to having new beginnings, i really feel better nowadays. I mean i can say that i'm now well on my way on recovering from the torturous undertaking i had. Actually, there's still some anger inside me 'cause it's not really actually done yet and it needs closure some time soon. But i've learned my lesson and i'd not strain myself to like fix it. I mean if the person wants it this way, then so be it. I won't be the oh-so stupid person who always makes the effort. OK na sa akin ngayon na ganito tayo. At least, mukhang pareho naman na tayo ng nararamdaman. Indifferent to each other. Yehey!
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Kebs talaga noh. I don't need you to make it happen. hehehe.
adeush. (portuguese yan! haha)
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